Wedding Stories
Tara and Alix Maiden-Baillie, married 20 June 2008
The first time we met, we both thought “she’s the one!” – then we didn’t see each other again for three months. The second time we met, at a singles’ brunch, we talked for over 14 hours, until the owner of the restaurant where we had dinner tiptoed into the dining room to turn out the lights. The place had been closed for almost an hour.That was in 2001, in Kentucky. We moved in together in 2002, and after seeing the San Francisco weddings on CNN, we decided to have a wedding of our own, to affirm our commitment publicly, in June 2005. We didn’t have much money, so we made everything ourselves, and had an exhausting but wonderful day with our family and friends. We were really touched by how many straight friends and family shared our joy that day, in a state that had passed an anti-gay-marriage constitutional amendment only seven months before. Since we didn’t need a licensed minister, the wedding was performed by the dear friend who had introduced us that very first day. And instead of a marriage license from the state, we made our own document that was signed by everyone at the wedding, affirming that they considered us married.Shortly after our wedding, Alix’s career brought us to California. We had so many more rights and protections in California than we had had in Kentucky, that we certainly didn’t feel deprived. But when the State Supreme Court announced its decision on May 15, we finally felt like “full” citizens, with ALL of the same rights as straight Californians. On Friday, June 20, we were married “under the laws of the State of California!,” as our delighted officiant proclaimed. Our witnesses were two straight friends, one of whom brought her infant son and got teary when she recalled the 2004 San Francisco marriages being annulled, fearing that her children would never see equal marriage rights.
Being legally married has brought a lot of subtle but important changes. The biggest is that we now legally have the same last name, for the cost of the marriage license (about $160, versus $640 for two legal name-change orders). We had wills before, but it’s reassuring to know that we have more protection for our home and other joint property as a legally-married couple. And, as we try to start a family, it’s important to us that our kids know their moms are married. We just want the same protection for our family that straight couples have always had for theirs.
Marlette West and Wendy Tinkler, June 27, 2008
Twelve years ago our lives entwined. Kismet is the word for it. That moment when you know you’ve met the “one”. We have been each other’s “one” since then. And after one child, six cats, and a grandchild we had pretty much settled in. Then May 15th happened.
Already a banner year -with a woman AND a man of color running for President- the California Supreme Court decided our community was worthy of total equality- and the race was on. I burned up the phone line to the CoCoCo Recorder’s office on a daily basis, setting three possible wedding dates.
On June 27, 2008 at 2:00 pm on the dot (I was determined to be a June bride), Wendy and I were honest-to-God married/hitched/betrothed. I was giddy, she was nervous (and gorgeous), and our witnesses sniffled through the entire ceremony. As we drove away from the Recorder’s Office in Martinez, our friends showered us with fresh rose petals.
We honeymooned in Santa Cruz where the air was clean and cool. We played games at the Cocoanut Grove and gave all our tickets away to little kids needing “just a few more” to get their dream prize. And, as far as we can tell, we are still honeymooning: 12 years and going strong.
Whatever happens this November, we know who we are and why we are.
Keith Green and Tom Lewenz, September 15, 2007
We had our more public wedding on Sept 15th, 2007 with 110 of our friends and family attending. It was held at the Marriott in Walnut Creek (both the service and the reception).
Keith’s brother Laurence officiated and he did a great job. It was a lot of planning, but the best thing we did was to get a friend to handle all the details the day of the event. That way we were able to enjoy the day.
After CA made marriage permissible for same sex partners, we had a small service at the county clerk’s office on June 24th, 2008 to make us legal. We really feel that our wedding in Sept was the most important and the one we will recognize as our anniversary. We feel that marriage is a proclamation to our community of our bonds and that a service held in front of all those who are important to us is really the basis of the marriage process.
Make sure to include those whom you hold special on your wedding day. Especially include those from the straight community because there is a validation of us in their eyes that is so important for future support of our civil rights.
